


Ritualistic Idiocy

by dragonsong (NekoAisu)



Series: FFXIV Write 2019 [12]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Gender-Neutral Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Other, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 00:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20787716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoAisu/pseuds/dragonsong
Summary: “You have a curious beauty regimen.”





	Ritualistic Idiocy

**Author's Note:**

> For FFXIVWrite 2019!
> 
> Day 13 | Wax
> 
> Tumblr post here: https://ffxivimagines.tumblr.com/post/187710034909/ffxivwrite-2019-prompt-13-ritualistic-idiocy

“You have a curious beauty regimen.”

The Warrior of Light pauses in their ministrations, warmed wax pasted over with paper strip by strip on their legs, and admits, “A bit unnecessary, it is.”

Emet-Selch sits down in one of their many inn-room chairs like its a throne and steeples his fingers as if considering some sort of action plan. He settles on frowning at the sight of a speck of dirt on one of his shoes.

“It’s a coping mechanism,” the Warrior says with half a wince as they tear a couple of the paper sheets off, leaving hairless skin in their wake. Irritated and red, but smooth enough to please their apparent need for painful beauty rituals. “I’m in another world, tossed across a rift between my home and here, fighting for my life—one I will undoubtedly lose if I fail to save the First—and need a little normalcy. Enter unnecessary but soothing habits.”

“I fail to see how something so obviously uncomfortable is soothing to your anxieties,” he says as if it should be an obvious enough conclusion after their explanation.

The Warrior shrugs and applies more of the wax, focusing on not missing any spots, and waves their little wooden applicator at him like it’s some sort of magic wand. “I bestow upon you some empathy and understanding for us mortals. We need habit. We need things that demand focus. We need little pleasures, even if they aren’t really pleasurable and instead just less stressful than the rest of the things we do. Think about how you would feel, being me.”

“I would be an imbecile.”

They rip off another sheet. Apply more wax to the spot beside it, followed by another paper. Breathe deeply. He watches the tension drain from their shoulders and out of their hands.

It is an effort they make to be present without allowing the profound nature of their existence to crush them under its weight. They want to live like any other adventurer with out-of-order priorities and some Gil to spare.

Emet-Selch waits for them to give him a response. Sits through the rest of their waxing and the resultant process of moisturizing (who knew the need for a dozen products to perform the same job was something that had endured from Amaurotine Times). Taps his fingers and very pointedly does not look while they shimmy out of their well worn and all too big tunic to slip into something more modest.

He is not a lecher. That is a job wholly reserved for the laughably savage mortals he so detests.

“I am an imbecile,” they agree in casual dress with a lopsided grin creasing the corner of one eye more than the other, “but it takes a certain amount of idiocy to believe you might care to join me for dinner.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how to Emet
> 
> xiv tunglr | https://ffxivimagines.tumblr.com/  
main | https://kiriami-sama.tumblr.com/  
main | https://twitter.com/flamingacekiri


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